Jordan breaks into spurts of sadness when it hits her that her grandma isn’t with us anymore. The realization hits me each time I work online and stumble into a link she liked or a comment she left. I wish I had emailed her more, asked her to write more things. I wish I had emails and messages to give to the kids. I miss her.
We all missed her this weekend for the Easter holiday. We had a chance to return to the cemetery where my father-in-law had a beautiful gravestone made in her honor. It was a brief visit to bring flowers and admire her resting space. Jordan helped place the flowers and wanted to take her picture with the gravestone… But she was very careful to not step on the dirt that still shows where her grandma’s coffin was buried. She didn’t “want to step on Grandma.” Those little things are heartbreaking.
It’s hard to celebrate while you are in mourning… but having the kids around helps. Even better, I’m glad they gave their Poppy a reason to smile. This is so hard. But watching the kids dress up in their sweet outfits, handing out hugs and having fun competitively searching for eggs was very smile-worthy.