Discovering New Dreams

by Heather on May 11, 2011 · 3 comments

in Staying Hopeful

NOTE: Born Just Right is growing to offer additional perspective and support to parents of special needs kids. If you’re interested, check out this post.
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I am so honored to be posting on Jen’s site. I have known Jen since I was born…I have pictures of her holding me as a baby! For as long as I can remember, she has always been someone that I have looked up to, and I am so lucky that in this journey of motherhood, especially special needs mothering, she can still be an inspiration to me.

When I dreamed of being a mom, my dreams definitely did not include having an anxious/OCD child and a child with a rare and incurable mitochondrial disease. Yet somehow God in his infinite wisdom chose to bless me with two special daughters. That same God also holds me in his loving arms and is daily showing me how to discover new dreams in my walk as a mom of special children and to find peace amidst the daily struggles.

I still do some of the things I dreamed of… I do hair, pick out cute girly outfits, watch ballet lessons, read stories, snuggle. I also spend countless hours at hospitals, doctor’s offices, on the phone with insurance and medical supply companies. I watch my girls share with each other… and fight with each other… and I wonder if my older daughter will lose her little sister before they’ve had a chance to grow old together. I watch my older daughter battle anxiety and pull her hair out and I wonder sometimes if it is possible for a 5 year old to physically harm herself because she is so anxious/depressed.

Motherhood certainly is not what I expected, but I am learning. I am learning to help my girls appreciate their own unique qualities. I try to help Catherine see how beautiful she is, even though she thinks she is not. As Lindsey gets older, I hope to help her accept that she lives life hooked up to a feeding tube and that even though she has limitations, she can do anything she sets her mind to. I am also learning to let go of my expectations of what I thought my life would be like. It is really hard, but I am doing it slowly and finding that enjoying each day as it comes and not worrying about what tomorrow will bring is best. Much easier said than done!

I look forward to sharing more with you as I am able!

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Diane Davis May 11, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Beautiful, Heather. Our kids teach us so much more about life, character and the depth of living than we ever could teach them. Hug for the hard days.

Heather May 15, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Yes. I’ve learned more from my kids than I could ever have imagined!

Julia May 16, 2011 at 9:15 am

Beautiful Heather. It make me cry. You’re a beautiful, amazing and strong woman. I was watching you with Lindsey yesterday… you’re doing such a great job. Keep up the good work! Love ya.

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