Sure Jordan is a little young to party all the time… but she did get a chance to go to two different birthday parties over the weekend. She had a blast… But in one of the parties I watched a little girl staring at Jordan and clearly wanted to reach out and touch her arm without permission. I guess I just happened to look over at her and she had this look like she was in trouble… Her mom must have caught the interaction because she went over to her daughter and started whispering to her. I felt the need to interrupt and introduce her to Jordan (they had never met before). We talked about how Jordan was born with one hand and she can do everything she wants to do. Jordan just nodded her head. We talked about her helper arm and Jordan actually added in the conversation about her bike hand and how it helps her ride a bike. (I was so thrilled she joined in on the conversation)
So there was just one little thing that made me think that maybe I shouldn’t have interrupted the whispering mom and daughter. Every time I said something to explain what’s going on with Jordan the mom would interrupt me by saying, “That’s what I told her.” I wasn’t sure if it was to tell me how I should leave the conversation… so I just kept talking.
I’ve recently noticed Jordan taking a stand in public areas and asking people not to touch her arm. If it’s a child I know I’ll ask him or her to be sure to ask permission before touching Jordan. When a child asks, Jordan usually says no. And she has every right to say no. I can only imagine how annoying that can be for her.
Jordan had a super cool opportunity tonight… She, her brother and I had a chance to see The Wizard of Oz tonight.
This was Jordan’s first chance to see a musical. It was Cameron’s second (I took him to the traveling broadway show of the Lion King back in 2006). They both enjoyed it a bunch. But they both got pretty darn scared by the Wicked Witch of the West. Then I had a bit of a realization… I used to watch Wizard of Oz every year because it was on TV once a year. Why isn’t that on anymore? This was the first time my kids had ever been introduced to the story line. Am I a bad parent? Did our culture move away from this story? Heck, my kids needed to see this so they can go to Wicked some day!
It’s refreshing to have a child who is happy to just go outside. Last night she spent 45 minutes or so playing out in the slightly muddy backyard. She spent time on the backyard treehouse and swings. She returned covered in extra dirt in her pretty pink dress… But I won’t complain. I appreciate a girl who is willing to dress pretty and get messy. By the way – that hat is a dinosaur she decorated at school. Very cute.
Jordan had her four year old check up — And she was a trooper. Three vaccinations and all kinds of fun showing off what a big girl she is (once she got over the shots).
The result? She’s 30th percentile in weight and 65th percentile in height. I wish I could say that about myself!!
I shared this on Facebook… but I felt like I needed to share this with my blog friends too. Miss Jordan continues to show me that she can do anything… with or without her helper arm. She got a surprise pancake breakfast and had asked me to cut it up… After I had cut the pancakes in one direction, she asked to use the knife and finish cutting the pancakes strips into pancake bites. I figured I’d just humor her.. Until she actually started cutting her food and doing it well! I had to take a picture because she seriously figures everything out. Everything.
I was taken aback earlier this week when a person who I recently got to know found out I have a daughter with a limb difference. She immediately said: “OH! I’m SO sorry. That must be so hard.”
But it isn’t. And her reaction took me off guard for some reason. Maybe it was the overt pity. Maybe I just haven’t heard it from someone right in my face in a long time. I’m sure there’s people saying pity-type sentences behind our back because they don’t know us. They don’t know Jordan. I think what really got me was how after I said it wasn’t a big deal, she kept wanting to make it out to be a big deal. “Aren’t you disappointed? Didn’t you have a hard time with it?”
Sure I have had struggles knowing how our culture treats anyone who is different in any way. But am I disappointed? Never! Are you kidding me? I realized there was no way to convince this person that it really is okay to have a child who doesn’t fit a standard mold. I stopped participating in the conversation. But for some reason, it left me feeling a little strange.
Later this week I started having a conversation about a little boy named Bennett. His mom and I have talked a bit since he was born with complications from Cystic Fibrosis. At 14 weeks old, he has survived amazing challenges and he’s even smiling! I feel like my experience with Jordan has given me a gift to be able to reach out to other moms, let them know they can mourn and they can be the moms they were blessed to be – as caretakers and advocates for small and wonderful children. To me a missing part of a limb is not the end of the world, but becoming a mom to a child with a missing limb has given me the strength and understanding to offer support to so many other parents. Bennett’s mom is incredible and strong and I’m proud to be able to watch and support her growth and support to her awesome little boy. I would never walk up to her and gush about how SORRY I am. I would gush over how I know she has the strength and ability to be an amazing mom to a child with a difference.
I don’t know how she does it… But Jordan will play outside in the snow forever if I let her. She spent almost an hour during a snowstorm yesterday. When she got inside she demanded hot chocolate. Classic kid.
I stumbled onto a PBS special that ran last week that is all about the challenges girls face as they grow up in our society. It talks about the challenges of self-image, technology, violence and education. It was awesome and showed examples of how family, community and programs are supporting girls as they grow up from those tween and teen years before college.
I’ll be honest. This stage in life scares me a ton. Self-image was difficult for me and my body fits some form of societal standards. I don’t want society to prevent Jordan from feeling empowered to succeed and lead in life just because she looks “different.” (And currently in her mind, she knows she has differences but she does not consider herself different.)
PBS Presents A Girl’s Life was eye opening to me just as a reminder that I need to take the time to make sure I stay in touch with the tween/teen world. I need to be aware of the challenges that Jordan may face seven or eight years from now. I also think it’s important that I make sure our town has the resources to help Jordan and any other girl feel supported. The host of the show was a woman who founded a group called the Girls Leadership Institute. I’m planning to investigate any opportunity for the program to come to our neck of the woods. I’m so impressed by the PBS special and what the organization is doing for girls!
Jordan celebrated the new year a little early… We counted down to midnight in Greenland so the kids could go to bed early. It was fun and complete with noise makers and hats. We hope you had a wonderful celebration and an even better 2010!!
Jordan had a great birthday! She got to see The Princess and The Frog with her friends… And it really was a sweet movie. She and I danced and grooved throughout the movie. Jordan clearly likes jazz music. How cool is that? I had a gut feeling that she’d groove on the movie, so I ordered her a Princess Tiana birthday cake. And it was a HUGE hit.
Jordan had a great time getting to do close to anything she wanted – she got to watch an Elmo movie about birthdays, she got to watch Nick Jr., she got to eat movie popcorn for lunch. It was a happy time in between traditionally stubborn, “pretending not to hear” four-year-old stuff.
It seems like we’ve been celebrating for weeks, but today is the big day. Jordan and I plan to spend the day together. I’m going to take her to see Princess and the Frog. Her two closest friends might join her (the girls who attended her princess tea party 10 days ago). I even got her a Princess and the Frog birthday cake. Very exciting stuff.
To be honest… I love birthdays. I loved them before I had kids. But I love them even more now that I know all the effort that comes with making babies. And to be even more honest, I love celebrating how Jordan completed our family. One boy, one girl, two dogs and two happy (and often exhausted) parents. I also love how she brought us into a world where we’ve met so many wonderful families who are connected to us just because Jordan was born with one hand. Yes, we’ve had highs and lows. But most of those highs and lows were totally worth the extra effort of life with a child who doesn’t conform with the physical expectations we envision before our baby is born.
I love birthdays and I love how Jordan changed our lives and our perspective about so many things in this world.
So… Getting a sled to move in the right direction is tricky for any almost four-year-old… But it’s even trickier when you’re working with one hand. So when I plopped Jordan onto a sled yesterday, she ended up riding in an old-school wooden sled that we just let go. No steering, just sliding. She ended up hitting a curb and flew out onto the snow. I ran down to make sure she was okay. And she was giggling and telling me how AWESOME it was to go so fast. My girl is all about adventure. I love it.
Oh… And by the way. Here’s a funny piece of video of Jordan playing in her new playhouse on Christmas day. I love it.
Happy holidays from our family to yours!! We’re having a wonderful Christmas – Jordan and her brother got EVERYTHING they wanted and more. We’re incredibly thankful for the love of our whole family and lucky to be able to celebrate this holiday together.
While we’re spending time with family, we had a chance to meet a friend who we know through this blog! K is a sweetheart and we’re so lucky Jordan and the rest of our family got to spend time with him and his mom. The best part, the two little ones treated each other like they’d been friends for years. They ran around, giggled and had a really great time together.
They didn’t spend much time comparing their little arms… They just enjoyed being kids. It was really nice to sit with his mom and talk about the things you tend to talk about only with a parent who has a kid with limb differences. It’s stunning how each of our kids have little challenges that came with the limb difference. Jordan had strange torso and neck strength issues and her ankles are still turning inwards. K has other things he has to deal with. It’s fascinating. Anyway… It was a special chance to meet with a friend who we’ve only seen in online video and photos. I’m thrilled and so happy that we have the chance to meet with our online friends from time to time!
I’m sure I’ll post some pictures of our holiday adventures, but I wanted to make sure I share our family’s holiday website for all of our blog fans.
We wish the very best to each and every one of you as we head into a new year. The friendships we’ve been able to build and the support we’ve been able to share on this website is to awesome. I really appreciate it.
So… enjoy our holiday “card” and enjoy this festive season!
Sure Jordan is a little young to party all the time… but she did get a chance to go to two different birthday parties over the weekend. She had a blast… But in one of the parties I watched a little girl staring at Jordan and clearly wanted to reach out and touch her arm without permission. I guess I just happened to look over at her and she had this look like she was in trouble… Her mom must have caught the interaction because she went over to her daughter and started whispering to her. I felt the need to interrupt and introduce her to Jordan (they had never met before). We talked about how Jordan was born with one hand and she can do everything she wants to do. Jordan just nodded her head. We talked about her helper arm and Jordan actually added in the conversation about her bike hand and how it helps her ride a bike. (I was so thrilled she joined in on the conversation)
By the way – that hat is a dinosaur she decorated at school. Very cute.
It seems like we’ve been celebrating for weeks, but today is the big day. Jordan and I plan to spend the day together. I’m going to take her to see Princess and the Frog. Her two closest friends might join her (the girls who attended her princess tea party 10 days ago). I even got her a Princess and the Frog birthday cake. Very exciting stuff.
My girl is all about adventure. I love it.
While we’re spending time with family, we had a chance to meet a friend who we know through this blog! K is a sweetheart and we’re so lucky Jordan and the rest of our family got to spend time with him and his mom. The best part, the two little ones treated each other like they’d been friends for years. They ran around, giggled and had a really great time together.
Anyway… It was a special chance to meet with a friend who we’ve only seen in online video and photos. I’m thrilled and so happy that we have the chance to meet with our online friends from time to time!
